rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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