You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize