your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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