he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
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Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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