he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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