We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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