Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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