Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize