just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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