im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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