Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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