is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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