I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize