so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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