Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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