I feel great
I just peed on a car
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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