Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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