This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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