I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize