Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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