oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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