dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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