I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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