I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize