do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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