Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize