I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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