Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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