hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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