Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my shit smells like andre
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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