Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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