Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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