all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
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a search helicopter?!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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