I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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