woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
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I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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