he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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