my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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