Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize