All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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