Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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