But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
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Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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