nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you still have your period?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize