love makes seman taste better
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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