Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize