My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize