She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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