And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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