I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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