I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize