I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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